Then Johnny comes back to the beach. So Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. I really dont want to know! yelled Little Johnny. Thousands of clean and dirty Take a look at the list of short little Johnny jokes I have found for you. Johnny poked her in the ass again with a pin and she screams my god! And falls back to sleep.Later the teacher asks Sally what Eve said to Adam after they had their fourth child. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? No Maam, your thinking of blow job, and that's only two syllables. Its fake. When April didnt stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. Rigor Mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?Sherman: I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. Ones blue, but the other is green. We just have the same pets.. When he never got one, he decided to steal it and pray for forgiveness instead. The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. I told her yesterday that I had to go to your funeral.When asked what he wanted to be when he grew up,Little Johnny said, A detective. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.Teacher: Now Little Johnny, be honest, do you say your prayers every night before dinner?Johnny: No miss, my mother is a really good cook.Johnny: Dad, have you ever been to Egypt?Dad: No son, why do you ask?Johnny: Well where did you find our mummy?Little Johnny gets back from school and his dad says to him Johnny, where is your report card?Johnny replies sorry dad, I dont have it.His father is furious and says why not?Johnny replies I lent it to my friend, he wanted to scare his parents.. an apple replied little Raymond no, said the teacher its a tomato but it shows your thinking. Ive now got something round, a greenish colored you can eat it. An apple, replied little Ian No its an onion, but it shows your thinking. Little scruffy Johnny at the back of the class says Ive got something under my desk thats an inch long, white and it has a red end. Dirty little boy, said the teacher No its a match, but it shows you were thinking, he answered. Is he able to see alright?Yes, says the mum, we are so grateful, the Doctor said he will have perfect vision.That is great, says Little Johnny, cause hed be stuffed if he needed glasses!Little Johnnys teacher says to him, Johnny! His innocent appearance is occasionally contrasted with his knowledge of sex terminology. Little Johnny says I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day. After some thought Jane proudly replied with Monday. Little Johnny said, Easy. His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! she coaxed. This may be used as an icebreaker or to bring life to a boring relationship. Well? 2023, Best Summer Captions and Quotes (for Family and Friends), 54 Helpful Business Quotes for Growth and Success. You need to hide, grandpa. Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. You need to hide, grandpa. Please stop, dad! She says, "Hello class, I'm Mrs. Prussy. While he understands sex terminology, he can be naive at other times. Hes a burglar., 21. She asked, So Johnny feels stupid occasionally? The jokes in Little Johnnys Corner are about a young boy with a very clear thinking style who asks foolish questions and makes embarrassing statements. TEACHER: Johnny, use defeat, deduct, defense, and detail in one sentence.JOHNNY: De-feet of De-duck went over De-fence before De-tailWhile grading essays, the teacher noticed that Little Johnnys paper about Family Pets was the same as his brothers.So she asked, Why did you copy your brothers homework?Little Johnny said, No, I didnt! Little Johnny came home from school to see the familys pet rooster dead in the front yard. Every night my dad asks, Johnny are you sleeping? Then I say No and then he slaps my face and gives me a black eye.So the teacher says to him, Tonight when your dad asks again, keep dead quiet and dont say a word.The following morning Little Johnny comes to school and no black eye, so the teacher breathes a sigh of relief. His mother handed him the money. ), 30 Best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from The Office, 23+ Funny Business Jokes To Share with Friends (or your boss! One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, Tell me, April, who created the universe?. We have a simple and elegant solution for you! Most of his jokes involve a female counterpart. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run. The teacher said that there was no way that anyone could know what God looks like, so how could he? He says out loud, "One plus six, that son of a bitch is seven. Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?" Little Johnny replies, No, but it must be hard for you to stand alone., The teacher asked why George Washingtons father didnt punish him for chopping down the cherry tree. Last weekend only eight of the 12 eggs hatched. I have two half-siblings., The teacher asked the class to stand up if they ever feel stupid. The best little Johnny jokes. Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet. Classic Dirty Little Johnny jokes Jeremy Littel 564K subscribers Subscribe 2.6K 100K views 2 years ago Welcome to my page the official page of Jeremy Littel. Why a carrot as a logo? Why not? asks his father.I borrowed it to my friend. Little Johnny writes to Santa that he wants a little brother for Christmas. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. Little Johnny says, I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day. Do you really think you are stupid?Johnny replies No Miss, but I hated seeing you standing there all by yourself.Johnny: Dad, have you ever been to Egypt?Dad: No son, why do you ask?Johnny: Well where did you find our mummy?Little Johnnys teacher is doing her rounds at lunchtime when she sees little Johnny pulling faces at another child. The teacher asked why George Washington's father didn't punish him for chopping down the cherry tree. I do, I do, me me me replied Johnny. Its the same as Santa Claus. Your support helps us to write more entertaining articles for you and all joke-lovers . The entire class says, "Hello Mrs. He rushes home as fast as he can.He runs in and shouts Dad, dad, can we play builders?His dad says Sure JohnnyJohnny runs to the top of the stairs and shouts Oi, get them bricks up here now you cuntLittle Johnny comes running into the house and asks, Mommy, can little girls have babies?No, says his mom, of course not.Little Johnny runs back outside yelling to his friends, Its okay, we can play that game again!A teacher asks her class to use the word contagious in a sentence. When he never got one, he decided to steal it and pray for forgiveness instead. She said no, but he said that hed tell her what their cleaning lady said to his father when she was gone. See more. and I shut up and kept very still. My daddy served in Afghanistan. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story. Instead of manually entering the email addresses you want to send to each and every time, you can now create your own personalized contact list that will be available for you to use any time you want to share one of our posts with your friends and family. Johnny proudly says, "Masturbation." I hope that you will accept my curriculum vitae and that we will see each other soon already as new colleagues, I wish more or less. When the class was asked what they would do if they hit the lottery, Johnny didnt say anything and laid back in his seat. Johnny said, Jeez. The teacher asked the class to come up with a three syllable word and use it in the sentence. A teacher asks her class, What do you want to be when you grow up? Little Johnny says I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best b*tch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day. His mom says No. Then my dad and my mum started moving {you know} at the same time. A big list of little johnny jokes! No butter for you for one month!" says his dad. 6. They think you dont know the dime is worth more than the nickel. Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. The owner didnt know what Johnnys problem was, but the boys would constantly tease him.They would always comment that he was two bricks shy of a load, or two pickles short of a barrel. Please accept the terms of our newsletter. Are you giving up?Little Johnny returns from the supermarket with his mother. Have fun! So that way I can be just like dad.The teacher found this surprising because she didnt know he was a detective.Johnny said, Oh no, hes not a detective. She usually slept through the class. ", Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together. I have another pair at home exactly the same." Little Johnny was doing his maths homework. Do you really expect me to believe that?Its true, Miss Martin, I swear, insisted Johnny. His mother asks What on earth are you doing Johnny?Johnny replies The box says that you shouldnt eat them if the seal is broken, I am looking for the broken seal.Teacher: Little Johnny, you are late to class again.Johnny: But miss, you said that it is never too late to learn.Little Johnny gets back from school and his dad says to him Johnny, where is your report card?Johnny replies sorry dad, I dont have it. I am Jimmy, clown at heart. Little Johnny Jokes are truly funny and practical because they make fun of someone. If you now tell me that grown-ups dont really have sex, then Ive got nothing left to live for!, Fred and Mary got married, but cant afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Freds parents home for their first night together. "My dad owns a farm too. She replies, "No." Lucy replied, "Don't count your chickens before they hatch." Quickly, dad tells him to leave. Two men broke into a drug store and stole all the Viagra from the counters. Johnny said, Oh no, hes not a detective. More jokes about: animal, death, little Johnny While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. Johnny said, Well, the cars not real either., Read more: Fast and Crazy Car Jokes and Puns. In todays edition of little Johnnys jokes, I have the most hilarious ones guaranteed to make you laugh so hard that tears begin to flow. 'Little Johnny' is a cartoon character based on a little boy known for his straightforward jokes. Then the blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands." She asks.Johnny says, No, teacher, it is the same dog!Little Johnny was in bible study one morning. 4. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me.Couple hours later the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed.She walks up to him and slaps across the face shouting Im leaving you Go aheadJohnny, tell him what you told me earlier.Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. And its no reason for you to talk like that. He did it and asked why Johnny wanted to hear him croak.Johnny said, Mommy said that well be loaded when you croak.Little Johnny and his class were talking about the word definitely.When asked to put it in a sentence, his classmates were pretty successful in doing so.Johnny spoke up, asking Are farts solid?Everyone laughed and said no.He chuckled, saying, Then I definitely pooped my pants.Johnny got caught digging a hole in his yard.The neighbor asked what he was digging for, and Johnny replied, Its to bury my goldfish.The hole was pretty big, so the neighbor was confused. Welcome to my page the official page of Jeremy Littel. See our other funny jokes too including more little Johnny jokes. Either way, you will have a blast laughing at our funny posts. Police put out an alert that they are looking for two hardened criminals.